1. 4 months ago 

   Jan. Reconnaissance.

   Time passes.

   I need education. Pursuing higher brings me more power.

   People give me favor I din ask for, I shall return it all back.

   All back with better rewards.

   This is how it works.

2. 5 months ago 

   So painful… I wanna to get myself angry enough to do stuff requiring certain amount of hate. Every time I reach the peak of it, I just die down again and again, recalling how am I similar to being a bastard like the other greens. I’m not able to do it like how easily others do. I’m sick of it. I’m just waiting for time to do finish my pain, agony you call it.

   Very soon I’m pretty sure I would get myself engage into a heated argument but I wanted to resolve this better. Hoping he would change for the better. Actually I know it’s not possible. Like my father always use to say, if a person would change, something is wrong with the person. Even though I still wanna try.

   I gotta learn how to relax my mind. Learn the ‘Bo chap’ mindset. Never got to.

3. 5 months ago 

   Mixed.

   Every time I recalled the bad times of being manipulated like a puppet, it saddens me.

   All of us are >, < or = the age, why do you wanna place pain in other people for own benefit?

   I give in to you doesn’t mean you can eat me up. So such thing in the world. But I feel painful if I were to give pain back. Feels like I’m the puppet maker I loathe since then. Dilemma indeed. Sometimes about human relationships like friendship, even though is rare in the Green, but I dare to say I give my best to anyone who is trying.

   But it sours the relationship when the partner decides to play the bond, and give you pain. I eat the pain as much as I could since I couldn’t bear to give it back.

   I want to be decisive but kinda haunts me being that cruel maker of pain.

4. 9 months ago 
   WTS : BEATS AND IPHONE CASE!
5. 9 months ago 

   Visit to riddicktech@gmail.com on fb for oem earphones.

   storewide discount on the fb page of 20 percent !!!!!!!!!!!!!! cheapest in sg!!!!!!!!!

6. 10 months ago 

   chill pill.

   I’m nobody to judge what is what, neither to judge someone. That’s the One sacred job, ain’t mine. Here be telling my experience dear journal. 

   I thought to myself, in primary and tertiary education, thought seen world of people. People who willing to give and take no matter how hard some problem sums is and do care to teach you. People help each other in a Peaceful environment. You fall, they help you out but as long as within their easy reach they try to help you out. Nice isn’t it.

   Under harsh or difficuit conditions?

   To be honest, I actually don’t like my ‘race’ - referring to my gender people. In fact, I love women so much more as there are people with hearts. Hearts which they follow. For people they care about, willing to be under circumstances what man could not have done. 

   I’ve been in the Green for almost a year, I seen what my gender could do, done, did sinister things to people around me. People of my gender that are nice are under pain, and suffering silencely. I became a bystander, looking at all these harms being done and not to do anything for them. I can’t even do anything for myself yet alone others.

   During times in primary and sec, I was a perfect and wanted justice to be done. Naive yea? I know… I was always reckless, challenging the gangsters of my school and defend the small weak ones. Yup, I was big and fat, perhaps that was my back-up of my guts. Once I went quite far sending a whole lot of ah-bengs to detention till school ended. I was framed of abusing authority, well I fight back to get back my deserved share.

   When my mom say why I won’t just keep quiet and walked away, I just told her ” Lao bu, wo guang ming zhen da, pa she mo? Bei da jui bei da lo!” Even when she say I die young, I like to talk as I like, feel light without any burden in mind!

   Now, I harness all the pain, the anger in me and I did what was said above. Walked away when I see these happenings. I told myself to get back what I deserve. They deserve. I sometimes don’t get it. Why must mutual people start to bully when it’s their own kind? You don’t see a hamster whacking another hamster for it’s sunflower seed been taken.

   For now, I started to defend myself as the anger build up is released once I felt buillied. Ha, I just explode and start talking my true feelings, reason out and I don’t care about what’s authority or not. Humans must live like one. Like a human.

   Truthfully speaking, I have enemies in my Green now. But I sit upright, forthright and living abit better.I’m me again. =D

   What I don’t like is to be in dark and seeing the whole situation as whole. People are waiting to knife each other in dark, killing each other once chance arises. I’m seeing these sights all from the back row. I kinda solitude myself from the Green I’m in and seeking a path just for me to walk into. Finish my supposed work and I’m off.

   Well well, my anger is still getting ahead of me. But I got no tolerance against … Well you get it don’t cha. Kind of extreme but I like it this way.

   Like I always say, I don’t like grey areas. Black or white choose one. Easy life to live with and no regrets to complain about.

   After writing so much, I don’t really know what I’m blabbering about.

   Ciao. Until next time which is don’t-know-when-perhaps-months.

7. 11 months ago 
   

   Pester by Pa. Gave him what he wants. Ech, no mood.

    
8. 11 months ago 

   sous peine de mort.

   Dear tumblr, once again writing for my future’s lookback on myself.

   In the toilet after a basketball match, I screamed releasing the fumes of hatred, mixture of everything. Tears rolled painfully for the third time in my life and I felt I wanna let it out. Out, I scared my mother and my siblings. I din wanna do that but I felt so brittle at the moment and all I wanna is feel release…

   I suck everything up even when situation shows me I’m right. I don’t have a choice.I do not want to get into any trouble that harms people around me. Even I’m right, I’ll say I’m wrong. This has been like that for almost a year. I’m like a kettle, shut off the lid and pressurized.

   I’m like a book, used to be a book full of words, sentences and essays of great things. Now, erased and words being filled in me by pens that I have to allow. I’m not a book, or should I say not me. But something else which I loathe.

   Everyday, after 6, I get to come back home. I count on my exercises such as basketball to sweat out my fears, my worries, my pain in the game. I could be myself during the game, smile brilliantly. Be with my secondary friends, poly mates, crack jokes, bullshit etc. I felt same way too. I hang on thanks to all mentioned.

   I wished I could turned bad and do the easy way so I could feel better. I can’t. I return back what they gave me, equivalent to I’m them. But some things ain’t gonna written off like swiping off chalk marks on the blackboard. Some are written deep in heart.

   Like what bible says, eye for an eye. I will return the thanksgiving back more than what you should receive. Pain, just hurts so bad especially today. So pain.

9. 11 months ago 
   

   Recently bought a shoe that finally fit my feet for basketball.. Always waited for a few years to find the right one.

   True I do feel hurt playing basketball but the satisfaction of sweating profusely is golden.

    
10. 11 months ago 

    Study again. Date rescheduled.

    Hmm.. Seems like alot to study on for this course I’m in. Ironically, we don’t have notes to keep tab on… Only online… and I forgot the password and locked my account up.

    My mother wants my little brother to look after me since after the operation in time to come. Hmm, pushing forward may be happening, but whatever. Funny, it was always i take care him ain’t he looking out for me… What a twist of roles.

Artist in the way I shaped myself, and other artists that shaped me in the environment I lived in.

That's me.
Age : 20
Birth : 08/02/90
Status : In a relationship with Low Wei Ting

Following

Tumblr