So painful… I wanna to get myself angry enough to do stuff requiring certain amount of hate. Every time I reach the peak of it, I just die down again and again, recalling how am I similar to being a bastard like the other greens. I’m not able to do it like how easily others do. I’m sick of it. I’m just waiting for time to do finish my pain, agony you call it.
Very soon I’m pretty sure I would get myself engage into a heated argument but I wanted to resolve this better. Hoping he would change for the better. Actually I know it’s not possible. Like my father always use to say, if a person would change, something is wrong with the person. Even though I still wanna try.
I gotta learn how to relax my mind. Learn the ‘Bo chap’ mindset. Never got to.